The Shadow Side of Motherhood:

Marchiano sensitively explores those emotions and aspects of the experience that are difficult to acknowledge, like resentment, guilt, or self-doubt. While these feelings can be uncomfortable or even repugnant, Marchiano argues that they hold the key to personal growth. In line with Jung’s belief that “the shadow is the seat of creativity,” she suggests that confronting and integrating these darker parts can lead to profound transformation and healing.

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The Selkie myth illustrates this shadow side.  A mythical seal-woman, is forced to live on land when a fisherman steals her sealskin. Though she becomes a devoted wife and mother, she always longs for the sea—her true nature and identity. When she finally finds her stolen skin, she returns to the ocean, leaving her family behind.

Marchiano uses this tale to explore the tension many mothers feel between their caregiving role and their own needs for autonomy, creativity, and self-expression. The Selkie’s stolen skin represents a woman’s lost connection to herself—her passions, independence, and deeper identity—things that motherhood, especially in its early stages, can sometimes eclipse. The shadow side of motherhood emerges when a woman suppresses or denies these parts of herself, leading to resentment, exhaustion, or a sense of being trapped.

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However, rather than seeing this as a tragedy, Marchiano reframes it as an opportunity for transformation. By recognizing and integrating these lost parts, a mother can reclaim herself without abandoning her role—finding a way to both nurture her children and stay true to who she is. The Selkie myth, then, becomes a metaphor for the necessity of self-reclamation in motherhood, even when it means facing the discomfort of the shadow.